Brian Damage
Watching pro wrestling/sports entertainment for the majority of my life, there are a few things that are almost guaranteed to occur during specific segments of a storyline. If a couple gets “married” on a wrestling show, they are certain for it to end up badly for the bride and groom. Someone will interrupt the service and some sort of truth will be spilled and a fight will almost certainly break out. When a pay per view event is happening, you can bet your last dollar that someone is going through the Spanish Announce Table. Lastly, no contract signing on a wrestling show ever ends up with the wrestlers signing the contract and just simply walking away.
In 1987, before “official” WWF/WWE contract signings on television became cliched, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant had one…if not the very best I have ever personally witnessed. It wasn’t done in the middle of a wrestling ring, but rather in an office somewhere…probably Titan Towers. There was no pull apart, no punches thrown, no chaotic scene with either the face or heel getting the upper hand. What it did have was a world champion shaking out of pure disgust and anger and a heel giving a long, cold, icy stare to his opponent. A few heated words were exchanged between the combatants and they both went their separate ways.
Simple, yet worked to perfection. It didn’t have a lot of bells and whistles attached to it and it certainly didn’t need them. My favorite moment of the entire segment, was Hogan demanding that Andre sign the contract. All Andre had to do was give a little smirk, look at his new manager Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan and signed the contract. A small thing like a facial expression (the smirk) was all this segment needed. It made the whole thing come together.
It made Andre look as if he knew he could and would beat Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania III. He appeared to the fans watching as if there was no fear in him whatsoever. Conversely, Hogan shook with rage and anger. He was the one who looked beatable and completely affected by Andre’s heel turn. The icing on the cake was Andre standing up….towering over the reigning WWF champion and waving his giant hand in front of Hogan’s face. He simply said Au Revoir’ to Hogan and walked out without a care in the world.
To me as a kid watching, this was the ultimate yard stick of what pro wrestling contract signings should be. None since, have had the impact as this one did. While the WWF might have fidgeted the attendance numbers for Wrestlemania III a bit, it still was a complete sell out at the old Pontiac Silverdome. Here is the transcript for the contract signing. To this day, it still gives me goosebumps over how well this came off from everyone involved…. (courtesy of reddit) I was bored tonight, so I decided to transcribe the Wrestlemania III contract signing between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant: Video of the WMIII Contract Signing
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: “Gentlemen, excuse me! Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. We are here for the most auspicious signing for any heavyweight title match in history, as you all know. Let me introduce, just for the record, some of the dignitaries who are with us at this time and for this historic event.” “First of all, Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan. Representing the challenger, ‘The Eighth Wonder of the World’ from Grenoble, France – Andre the Giant. To my right, the Heavyweight Champion of the World from Venice Beach, California – Hulk Hogan. And to my immediate left, the distinguished President of the World Wrestling Federation, Mr. Jack Tunney. Mr. Tunney, get on with the proceedings.”
President Jack Tunney: “Thank you very much, thank you, thank you. Would you please sign on the dotted line, Mr. Rouismoff?”
Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Mr. Tunney. Mr. President. A few things I want to go over with you, first. When we had a discussion about this championship belt…”
Tunney: “Yes…” Heenan: “I want a new championship belt. Tunney: “That’s agreed.” Heenan: “This one was made and designed for this human being, and I use that term very, very loosely. I want one made that will fit a MAN…” Tunney: “We agreed to that…” Heenan: “…fit a GIANT of a MAN. Somebody that can represent the world of professional wrestling. Not like this man.” Heenan throws the WWF World Heavyweight Championship on the title with total disregard. “And another thing, I just want you to get one thing straight, Hogan, FIFTEEN YEARS this man’s gone undefeated. The three years you been world’s champion, you’ve talked behind his back. You’ve laughed at him. You never ONCE gave this man an opportunity. Now, he’s got that opportunity.”
Hulk Hogan: “SIGN IT, IF YOU’RE GONNA SIGN IT!” Andre the Giant smirks at Hogan and proceeds to sign the contract to make their WWF World Heavyweight Championship match at Wrestlemania III official. Tunney: “Will you sign under his name, Mr. Hogan?” Hogan: “I’ll sign a lot of things. I’ve signed a lot of contracts. Never thought it would come to this. Thought it was YOU, man. It’s both of you, you’re both sick. You’re both sick. If you wanted a title shot, all you had to do was ask me. I would have gave you anything, man. Andre, you were bigger than the world title to me. Yeah, I’ll sign it. That’ll get your attention too at Wrestlemania. When you tore my shirt off, man, when you tore the cross, you tore the heart and soul out of all the little Hulksters, man. Not just me. We’re gonna get your attention, man. Yeah, we’re gonna get your attention.”
Andre the Giant: “Now, you signed the contract. You think I tell you everything you know in professional wrestling? But I didn’t. And believe me, Wrestlemania III will be your last lesson.” Andre starts to speak in French to Hogan. “Et ça va vraiment me faire plaisir de le faire, crois-moi. Parce que pour la dernière fois…” (Translation: And I’m really gonna like doing it, believe me. Because it’s the last time…)
Hogan: “Speak to me in English when you talk to me! As far as I’m concerned, it’s not signed in ink, it’s signed in blood!
Andre: “You want me to speak in English…I will speak in the ring at Wrestlemania, au revoir.”
